So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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