So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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