He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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