Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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