I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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