i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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