She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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