He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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