Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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