Do you still have your period?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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