Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize