I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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