This girl is more easily done than said...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize