I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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