ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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