I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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