Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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