Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
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I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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