We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize