Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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