If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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