Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
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Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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