It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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