The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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