omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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