I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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