So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i already hear my dad disowning me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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