do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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