What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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