Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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