Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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