she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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