I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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