My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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