is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize