Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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