Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize