I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize