I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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