You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize