I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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