Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize