so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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