You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize