did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My dick has a subreddit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize