Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize