My room smells like vodka and shame
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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