Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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