She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize