Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
As shirtless as possible
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize